WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES - JENN'S SEASON: WEEK 1
Here for the right reasons.
HUMORENTERTAINMENT
Ryan Leatham
7/9/20241 min read
We’re so back. It feels like just yesterday that Joey’s season of The Bachelor (Maria) was running our Monday night lives. Now Season 21 of The Bachelorette is here and we’re keeping that same Jenn-ergy. Ah yes, a new season dawns upon us, bringing with it the promise of romance, heartbreak, and, of course, drama. Our popcorn and rosé are stocked and the guys are ready to take their shot at winning Jenn’s heart.
Let’s meet the boys.
Marcus - Army Ranger, Mission: Love
Marvin - Oui oui
Sam N. - Big eye-lashed love virgin
Grant - Rented a Ferrari
Sam M. - From South Carolina, early favorite
Thomas N. - Clean cut
Brendan - Habanero pepper guy
Dakota - Champagne papi
Kevin - Out over his skiis
Spencer - Pet photographer
Brian - Syringe shot guy, insane
Matt - Red hair = ginger shot
Austin - Fire extinguished
Ricky - Really likes Jenn’s boobs
Tomas A - Brought two puppies which seems like it shouldn’t be allowed
Jonathan - Cheeks
Aaron - Aerospace engineer adrenaline junkie
Jeremy - Definitely overcompensating.
Dylan - Total sweetie and tall boy
Brett - Teddy bear
Moze - Dangerous
Jahaan - Not Jenn’s king
Devin - Loud
Hakeem - Nerd alert
John - I’m not even sure he was actually introduced
Will you accept this rose?
Jenn’s genuine warmth and openness promise an emotional journey ahead. I hope you’ll join me each week for a summer of love. May our soul’s kiss, even if our lips don’t. Each week we will recap the action, rank the competition and predict future rose ceremonies. If you’ve joined me on this journey before, you know that I’m shooting for 90% rose prediction accuracy on the season (88.9% last season, no big deal). If you are here for the right reasons I hope you will enjoy it, spoiler free.